Hurt
by xXDark.Lord.MeloniousXx
Summary: Sirius begins to realize what it really is he wants. Remus and Sirius SLASH Fluff and Angst warning :
1. Okay, So I'm Here

**My first Remus and Sirius fanfic. Please review or PM with opinions! :D**

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**I hurt myself today to see if I still feel, I focus on the pain; the only thing that's real.**

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"Have you ever thought…you know…maybe you're gay?"

Sirius's eyes nearly popped out of his face as he barked, "What?!"

James sighed with a laugh, "Sorry, sorry…I mean…you just never stick with any of the girls you date and…I mean, I know you love snogging, and I completely understand. After all, you're a real pro, a prime example to follow, really…but it never becomes anything serious and…I mean…I dunno, just thought you might be distracted, having me—such a killer—as your best friend."

Sirius's face shrank back into a sly expression, "Oh, that's exactly it, James. I'm just taken by you!"

They laughed as Peter walked over to the two, under the tree's shade where they were hiding from the frightening heat. The chubby boy sat across from the two and smiled as they greeted him, informing,

"Moony's at it again; in the library. He said not to wait up for him at lunch; that he probably won't be done with his research until late tonight."

James rolled his eyes as Sirius complained, "Oh, Merlin, has he truly got nothing better to do than shove his nose in a book? I mean…he's friends with me! Me! Sirius Black! The irresistible, the clever and devious Sirius Black whom everyone adores and showers with love and attention! Why wouldn't he want to spend every waking moment with me? …Sirius Black!"

James looked to the boy next to him, "How many times did you just compliment yourself?"

Sirius took out both hands, knocking down fingers while muttering until he replied, "About seven."

"You really know the meaning of self-esteem, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned, "It's part of my undying charm."

"Eight, then." Peter interjected as James slid his hand lazily over his face.

"We've got to get him out of there. He's been hiding up there for weeks! What could be so damn interesting?"

Sirius was still trying to figure out what Peter meant when he said 'eight', but ignored it when he offered, "Maybe he's secretly looking at dirty witch magazines."

Peter blushed as James gave him an outrageous stare, "Not possible," Started James, "Rem can hardly talk to a girl, much less stare at naked ones and wank."

Sirius shrugged, "Never know. It's always the quiet ones."

"What?" Peter pressed.

"The quiet ones," Sirius repeated, "they're the freakiest ones."

"Oh, come on, Sirius. Not Rem." James insisted.

Sirius smirked, "I dunno, he could be the dirtiest of us all!"

"Doubt it; I'm pretty sure you take that title." James smiled as Peter agreed with a nod.

Sirius stood up, brushing off his pants as he suggested, "Well, let's go see for ourselves!"


	2. LaDeDa

**The needle tears a hole; the old familiar sting... **

* * *

Peter was the first to find the werewolf; close to the restricted area, next to a table that held five intimidating textbooks while his nose was stuck in one he held above his head and another chest-level to him. He was glancing between them both muttering complaints of inconsistency until Peter walked up to him, inquiring,

"Hey, Remus, we've been looking for you…"

"We? Padfoot and James with you?"

Nicknames were slowly becoming second nature to the boys, but Remus had always seemed a bit more comfortable with Sirius's nickname. Peter simpered and requested gently,

"Yeah, we were sort of hoping you might put your studying to rest for a while and join us for lu-"

"HEY! MOONY! HEY – JAMES, THE BUGGER'S OVER HERE, NEAR THE RESTRICTED AREA – MOONY! WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU!"

Remus covered his face in his book as James came racing behind Sirius and they nearly pounced on the poor outcast. They were huffing and grinning, both the boys' ebony hairdos wild and winded as James told him,

"Mate, we've been searching the entire effing library for you! Where were you?"

A dumb question.

"I was…here?" Remus muttered in response.

James's face slowly melted to softer curiosity as he started, "What're you looking u—"

Suddenly Sirius's arm was looped around Remus's shoulders, his mouth practically on his ear as he muttered, "Aye, Moony, you up here wanking off or what?"

Remus tore away from the boy, and then something strange happened between the two. Sirius looked to find the sandy-haired boy completely red in the face, his round, golden eyes opened wide and his freckles were incognito; hidden by the fluster that spread to his radiating ears. His scrawny arms had defaulted back to his chest in horror, his awkward fingers gripping his books tightly while one could clearly see the light scars on his arms; his white collar-shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His legs were thin, as usual, and girlishly posed as he had some trouble stepping away. At meeting the boy's eyes, Sirius found himself charmed by the cute display…

"W-wanking?!" Remus snapped in a whisper, "O-of course not! Unlike your free-wheelin' hormones, I'll have you know I have mine under control and my mother taught me that my body is a temple! I c-could hardly imagine that…uhm…vulgar act being executed in a place where geniuses have granted us 

permission to read their most exact and stable theories and discoveries! This is a respected area—a sanctuary!"

James laughed, "If you think that's gotten the point across to Sirius, you're wrong, Rem."

The light-brunette sighed, allowing the red to flush from his face a little as he told James, "Y-yes, I suppose you're right, James."

The Quidditch-star smirked, "Don't be so formal…Rem, why are you so upset?"

They all looked to him as he suddenly found his shoes much more interesting, stammering, "I-I'm not upset…I…I'm sorry I just…" He looked to the right, a bit closer to Sirius's shoes as he muttered, "I'm just…still…sort of…uhm…new to…having friends and stuff…so…jumping out of nowhere while I'm studying…just…uh…I don't know. Sorry, I'll try harder."

James chuckled, planting a friendly hand on Remus, assuring, "Don't feel forced. I just don't want you to be uncomfortable. We love ya, Rem. You're cool with us."

Sirius felt a pang in his stomach when he saw James touch Remus; a weird pang, not a pain, not dizzying or nauseating, just a pang. He shook it off as Peter added,

"So, Remus, will you come down for lunch?"

The boy bowed his head, putting both of his books on the larger pile that sat on the table, replying, "Yeah, I will."

The boys grinned as James announced, "Good, cause I'm starving!"

With that, him and Peter turned to run to the Great Hall, but Remus called after him,

"I-I'll meet you guys down there…I just want to take out these books…"

James smiled and told him, "Alright, just don't keep us waiting!"

Sirius didn't run with them, but rather stayed with Remus; the brunette turned towards the table, picking up three of the gigantic books with pain emanating from his contorted face. He huffed, looking to Sirius and requesting,

"Ehm…could you please carry the others for me, Sirius? Seems I'm not as much muscle as I thought…"

Sirius laughed, taking hold of the four left on the table, and relying on his Quidditch-toned arms to save him from embarrassment as he also took the top book from Remus's pile. The brunette pouted cutely, insisting, "You don't need to take those if you don't want to! That's too much, let me take two!"

Sirius smirked with low eyes, "Calm down, love, it's my pleasure."

He saw the werewolf perk a brow as he turned away…

_What the hell did I just say? Did I just call him Love? Why the hell would I call him that?_

_He's acting like a girl! That's why! _His brain answered.

Sirius gave himself a mental slap, turning back to the brunette, "Joking…that was a joke."

Remus still seemed skeptical until Sirius was hypnotized by his golden eyes again and began to fluster, snapping, "Laugh, Damn it, it was a joke!"

The other boy forced an intimidated laugh, quickly breaking eye-contact after that. Sirius looked off to the opposite side…


	3. It's Getting Weird

**Try to kill it all away…**

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"Sirius…"

The popular boy looked to the reject with a smile; they were headed back to the dorms alone from dinner, Peter and James called to Dumbledore for a prank that got out of hand. He had just been attacked by one of his fan-groups, it was one fifth of his Ravenclaw fanbase, but it was still terrifying to walk through; they touched his chest and back and pinched and giggled and murmured hellos and flirtatious whispers, leaving notes with times and places. The only price Sirius seemed to have paid was his hair being messed and his sweater being disheveled; not that it hadn't been prior to his molestation.

"Yeah, Moony?"

He looked to the brunette, adoring the cute attitude he was in that day; something was so feminine about it, it was like having a classy girl around. He flustered lightly at that thought as Remus spoke up and inquired softly,

"Ehm…does it ever bother you…that those girls are always looking to…do things to you and whatnot?"

Sirius chuckled, "You mean snog and grope?"

Remus cringed, "I hate those words; it sounds like it's painful!"

Sirius laughed, rubbing the back of his neck as he replied in a fit of chuckles, "Heh, you're funny sometimes, Rem."

The brunette looked away, "Am not…I'm being serious…"

"No. I am."

"Am what?"

"Being."

"…serious?"

"Sirius."

Remus glared jokingly as the ebony-haired boy giggled again, "S-sorry, you gave that one to me."

The brunette rolled his gold eyes, pressing, "Come on, tell me!"

Sirius cross his arms as they turned a corner, stating, "Well, I mean…I guess…sometimes…maybe…I dunno…maybe it's like you say, that it's all in my harmons."

"Hormones."

"What?"

"Hor-"

"What?"

Remus scowled, breathing through his nostrils harshly, "Nevermind. But it really doesn't bother you?"

Sirius thought on that before replying, "Well…what could bother me about getting touchy with someone completely dazzled by me?"

"I dunno," Remus began, "I was always raised believing…believing that your first kiss should be with the one you love most…that anything after that should be with the person you love too…so when people go around kissing everything that moves, I wonder if I'm doing something wrong. I mean…it's not like it's not appealing, I just…I just can't trust anyone…"

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked worriedly as they stepped onto moving stairs.

"I mean," Remus sighed, "there's not one girl out there who could…understand what I am…all of them are so dull and only interested in squealing for a night, then move on to make someone else wake up sticky and awkward."

Sirius blushed, "Didn't need those details, Rem."

"Yeah, sorry…" The werewolf sighed again, "I think sometimes…like people…some are born with magic…and some aren't…maybe…some people are born with loneliness, you know? Like…some people are just destined to be alone, that it's in their blood and it's in the heads and it's in their souls and hearts…maybe…those people exist…"

Sirius gripped onto Lupin's hand tightly as they approached a new door, insisting, "Listen to me, Remus."

He looked into the boy's sunshine eyes, telling him, "You're not alone. Never. You're not meant to be. You're too smart, you're too kind and you're too bloody amazing. Do you understand me?"

Remus blushed lightly, causing Sirius's heart to flutter unexpectedly as he replied, "Wow…t-thank you, Sirius…that means a lot coming from you."

Sirius loosened, but did not release, his hold on Remus's hand as he inquired, "Why me?"

"Well…you've got the most company in the world. House Fangirls, your best friend is the most popular kid in school…you've got a million relatives and everyone loves you the moment they meet you…I always wished I had that…spark you have…but I don't. I admire you a lot for it."

Sirius was walking with him again, approaching the dormitory door as he looked to his feet, admitting, "I'm not…really…I don't know how to tell you, Remus…but I'm…I mean…I know I could never know your pain, Rem…but I don't know those people…so I guess…"

"You're lonely too?" Remus finished for him.

Sirius blushed, looking back at the boy as he answered nearly inaudibly, "Uhm…yeah…"

It was only when Lupin's fingers curled with his tightly that he noticed they were still holding hands as the boy's other lanky and scarred arm reached over and hugged him. The werewolf's pointed, boyish face was resting on his broad shoulder, his silky hair brushing against Sirius's cheek as he muttered,

"Then you have me. Whenever you feel alone, I promise to save you from that."

Sirius felt his heart twitch, his stomach rise, his throat burn and that meant tears; reluctant ones, of course. He didn't let them fall, but having heard something like that from someone so close; he had never experienced that before. He had never heard a promise to him, a promise to help him, to heal him, a promise from someone who 'wanted' to make 'him' better. He took back his hand, snaking both arms around Lupin's torso, embracing him tightly as he tucked his nose and lips into the crook of the boy's sweet-smelling neck. He breathed in the wonderful aroma, gripped tightly at the thin and somewhat fragile chest, wanting to steal the boy's sweater from him simply because he wore it. He thought to himself, though, that the sweater only held the beautiful magic it did when he could feel it on the werewolf's smaller shoulders.

"Thanks, Moony…thank you…"


	4. Lotta Snakes, Lotta Fools

**:D Chapter four is up! Hope you enjoy! Thank you for all reviews and adds so far! It's insanely appreciated!**

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**But I remember everything.**

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"Padfoot?"

"Huh—yeah?"

James cocked a brow, "You've been staring at Moony all breakfast."

Sirius blushed, furrowing his brows as he barked in a whisper, "He's right next to you, shut up!"

James looked beside him, then back to Sirius as he stated, "He's reading; nothing exists but that book right now."

"How are you so sure?" Sirius pressed.

James smirked then after painting a common face he stated nonchalantly, "So after watching Remus shower last night I decided to tell everyone in the Slytherin dorms about his condition, then wanked off in his bed."

Peter spit out the pumpkin juice he had been guzzling as they all looked to Lupin. He didn't budge for a few long moments until he moved the book from his face slightly, looking up and inquiring,

"…sorry, have I been missing a conversation, guys?"

Peter looked relieved as James laughed and Sirius dropped his head onto his folded arms. The brunette's timid smile slanted, showing his sharp canines,

"What's going on?"

Sirius looked up to him, mumbling, "Nothing, Rem, nothing. You can go back to reading."

Remus shrugged and sighed, looking back to his book and after a few more minutes of James's laughter passed, they thought it safe to talk again. James leaned forward, "Come on, Padfoot, why are you ogling him?"

The boy flustered, "I am not ogling him! It's a HIM after all! Plus, it's not ogling, it's examining."

James rolled his eyes, "Alright, I am so sorry, Sirius, why were you 'examining' him?"

His brows tightened, his eyes slanting, "Mate, is it just me or has Rem been acting…girly?"

James shook his head slowly, "It's just you. He's acting like he always does. Anti-social and asexual. Why?"

"I just…" Sirius looked away, "why would I notice something like that if it wasn't really happening? I mean…why would I see him acting girly?"

Peter interjected, "Maybe he's got a crush."

"_A crush_?" James implored as Sirius's shoulders tensed.

"Yeah; Remus is probably the type to get all giddy about finding someone he likes, so maybe he's just acting girly cause he's not good at hiding his…eh…giddiness."

"_There's not one girl out there who could…understand what I am…all of them are so dull…"_

Sirius immediately stepped in, "He doesn't have _a crush_ on anyone!"

"Whoa, envy is a sin, Sirius, be careful." James joked.

Sirius scowled at him as he defended, "I-I am not jealous of who it ISN'T, trust me, he doesn't like anyone!"

"Fine," James agreed, "if it isn't a crush, then maybe Sirius is noticing girly parts of Moony, cause he has a little crush of his own."

Sirius's face boiled as Peter looked to him with wide eyes, "Really, Padfoot? You have a crush on Remus?"

The boy stuttered, "A-absolutely not! Why is this turning into a giant rumor with you guys?! I am not crushing on Moony, I'm just spotting weird things he does!"

James leaned more over the table, closer to Sirius's cherry face as he interviewed, "Well, if you're catching behavior we can't see, then you must be looking awful close an awful lot of the time, Sirius; I'm wondering, maybe you're hoping Remus is turning 'into' a girl so that it'd be okay to like him?"

Sirius smacked the side of James's face, tilting his glasses as he barked, "I AM NOT! I am not interested in him in the least, so shut up!"

"Who?"

They all looked to the werewolf as he poked at his breakfast plate, bringing the fork into his thick lips; the lighting in the room accenting his scars, including one going across his nose and a cross-shaped scar on his jaw. His freckles were visible again, his pale complexion back as his childish, golden eyes glanced from each boy to the next;

"H-How long have you been listening?" Sirius questioned.

"Just long enough to know you're not interested in someone."

James cocked a brow as Peter stuffed his face as an excuse not to speak. Sirius flustered, looking away, "No one. It's nothing. I'm gonna go; I'm full."

As he stood they heard Remus plant his fork on his plate, suggesting, "Hey, if you're going, I'll go with you. There were some more books I wanted to look up and I was sort of hoping you'd help me carry again."

James looked to Sirius with a sly expression; Sirius knew if he accepted the invitation, James would only have more to ridicule him about, but if he declined, James would know why and consider it an outward confession that Sirius didn't know how he felt about Remus; and that wasn't true. He knew exactly how he felt about Remus Lupin; they were best friends. With that in mind, he confidently replied, "Yeah, sure. I can't imagine you being able to carry them all on your own; don't want you in the hospital wing anymore than you have to be."

The brunette smiled gratefully, "Thanks, Sirius."

As he turned around, slipping his legs over the bench, James looked to Sirius, mouthing,

"_You lucky dog."_

Sirius glared, mouthing back, _"Fuck you."_

Once Remus turned towards them they were all grinning; Peter beginning to choke on the food he shoved in his mouth. Remus looked awkwardly at Peter's purple face, then back to Sirius and nervously requested,

"We'll…uh… go…then?"

"Yep."

Sirius led them out of the Great Hall as Remus glanced back at James waving with curling fingers and Peter holding his throat; slowly losing consciousness. Once they left the giant doors and turned down the hall, Remus inquired,

"What was going on?"

"What?" Sirius responded.

"What's going on with all of you?" Remus waited a moment before looking suspiciously at Sirius, "Are you going to try and pull a prank on me?"

Padfoot felt pink showing on his cheeks; Remus was acting cute again. He looked away from the boy, "No, I'm not pulling a prank on you."

"You mean it?"

"I do."


	5. Shaky Hands

**I wear this crown of thorns…**

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"What is it that's so attractive about the library, anyway?"

Remus snorted an exhale, "Very like you, Padfoot. I love the library…well…cause…"

He turned from the shelf of books he had been searching through to face Sirius who sat at the table closest to the boy. The werewolf had his lanky finger at his lips, his brows pointed and a pensive pout on his face as he muttered, "Hmm…well…I guess I love it cause…you don't need to ask…"

"Ask?"

The brunette smiled, "Yeah, I mean…out in the real world, when you want to know something, you have to ask. You have to look for someone to ask and see if it's safe to ask…I mean…sometimes they're embarrassing questions, or questions that will hurt someone or questions that will reveal a secret or something…but in a library…you never have to be scared or nervous, you can find all the answers you need in alphabetical order, with no strings attached, no price to pay just for wondering…it's like a high for me…like…it's like a place where I can secretly know…all of the secrets the books have to offer."

Sirius smirked, "You sound like a super villain."

Remus's eyes slanted, a curled smile replacing his cute pout as he chuckled maniacally; Sirius grinned wildly, "Mate, you are evil! When did you get funny?"

The scarred boy laughed softly, turning back to his books as he replied, "I dunno, last week or something."

Sirius chuckled again until Remus stated, "This place is like a college library; it's got everything…"

"A college library?"

The paler boy replied, "Yeah; college, it's the place muggles go to learn about the careers they want to pursue. College libraries are colossal."

The ebony-haired boy slumped his face in his palm, leveled by his elbow resting on the wooden table, "Sheesh, you sure do know a lot of stuff, Moony. Maybe you should lay off the library for a while, I still don't entirely get why it's so amazing."

Remus sighed, "Well, the library for me…is like…it's like…uh…it's like how Quidditch is for you."

"QUIDDITCH?!" The boy shrieked.

Lupin turned to him, shooting his index finger to his lips as he whispered sharply, "Yes! It's like my Quidditch."

"How could it be like Quidditch?! It's boring and dusty and smells like my house elf!"

He rolled his eyes, replying, "Exactly; it's two very different things, but it's just as exhilarating for me as Quidditch is for you."

"That can't be, though! Flying itself is so much more exciting than this!" Sirius fought.

Remus defended gently, "Yes, well, you're good at that. You're really good at flying and I'm not, so it doesn't excite me. You're an excellent flyer, though, so you would enjoy it. I can barely get off the ground and when I do, I'm terrified. See now?"

Padfoot sighed, plopping his chin back into his palm again as he mumbled, "Not really. I get what you mean, but I don't see how it's possible."

"Don't be so down about the library." He grabbed a book from the shelf he had been examining so closely and sat across from Sirius, leaning in close to his face as he whispered, "To me, it's a world of secrets and wonders and spectacular discoveries, theorems and questions in my mind…everything, all the answers I want are at my fingertips. You see? This is a place where I can be me and nothing more or less; I can bare my soul and mind with all the inquiries I can conjure."

Sirius blushed, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was because of Remus's inspiring speech or his proximity. He moved his grey eyes from the other boy's, "I…I suppose…that's exciting."

"It is, Padfoot…it's where I feel at home."

Sirius felt Remus sit down and finally noticed the stack of books settled in front of the brunette. He was simpering at the animagus, "Are you ready to help me carry them?"

The charcoal-haired boy stood with a grunt, "If I let you stay any longer the pile will only get heavier, I guess, so no putting it off."

Lupin chuckled, "You know me too well."

They checked out the books and took off to their dorm, while walking and laughing in common conversation, they reached the door. Remus stopped there and looked to his friend, requesting attention, "Ehm…Sirius…?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you…" The boy looked away, "would you…maybe…want to come to the library with me…you know…ehm…whenever I go? I mean, it's okay if you don't, I know it bores you out of your mind, but I always went alone and now that you've gone with me I guess I just enjoy your company and if you would that would be great and it's not like I don't want you to, cause I mean if I didn't want you to I guess I wouldn't ask you about this, but even if I do you don't have to feel forced cause if you don't want to it's really okay, I don't mind going alone as usual—"

"Moony," Sirius interrupted, "I wouldn't mind at all. I like keeping you company. I'll go anytime you go."

"Really?" The boy pressed, "You really like being around me?"

Sirius beamed, "I love being around you."

He hadn't even noticed what it was he had said until Lupin lurched forward and rested his head on the boy's shoulder, muttering, "I'd hug you, but my hands are sort of full right now…"

Sirius tried bleaching the red that had stained his face as he stuttered, "You would've hugged me? W-why?"

The brunette tore away, responding shyly, "You flatter me when you say that sort of stuff. I've never heard stuff like that from someone…"

Sirius looked away nervously, "Well, I haven't either, but still-"

"I love being around you."

He looked back to Remus, "…what?"

The boy smiled gently, "I love to be around you too. You keep me from being lonely. That means more than you can imagine."

He flustered, "You mean that?"

"I do."

They stared at each other for a long while, Sirius Black at a total loss of reaction as Remus Lupin turned towards the door to open it. The brunette was stepping into the room as Sirius called after him,

"I would've hugged you back."

The boy turned to him, the ridiculous pile of books stretching out his arms as he cocked a brow; Sirius repeated, "If you hugged me…I would've hugged you back."

The werewolf smiled again, "Thank you."


	6. Nice Copper Pipes

**Upon my liar's chair…**

* * *

"Where's Moony?" James implored to Peter.

The chubby boy sat beside Sirius at the dinner table, talking over the millions of voices in the Great Hall as he told James, "He's showering; he said he ate too much at lunch and ended up not wanting dinner."

"Hmm; maybe he's not used to having lunch since he's always held up in that dusty library."

They started eating when James announced, "Oh yeah, we have Quidditch practice after dinner, don't we?"

Sirius nodded, swallowing before responding, "I'm cutting tonight."

"What? Why?" James interrogated.

"I promised to join Moony in the library."

Peter and James both stared at the boy; completely bewildered. Two weeks it had been like this; Sirius always going to the library with the werewolf, spending hours with him then returning with a load of books that were dropped onto the boy's bed and were beginning to leave imprints in the sheets and mattress. Sirius continued to eat as Peter exclaimed,

"Sirius Black giving up Quidditch practice to go to the library? …with Moony?!"

James scoffed, "Where I'm sure he'll be seeing a full moon."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Peter inquired as Sirius choked on part of his dinner.

Once Sirius had gathered himself he looked to James growling, "Not funny; nothing's going on between us, James."

"Yeah, I guess I have to believe you. Speaking of your dishonesty, your new girlfriend stopped by the dorm looking for you earlier. I told her you were on a booty-call."

Sirius scowled, "You did not!"

James laughed, "No, I didn't, but I should've."

Peter didn't side as usual, mumbling, "You were in the library then too…aren't you thinking maybe you're turning a bit into Remus?"

Black rolled his smoky eyes, "Hardly; I'm not up there reading."

"Oh you're up there ogling, then?"

Sirius was about to snap at the boy when James smirked, "Sorry, 'examining'!"

Just as Sirius's face was about to implode, Severus Snape got up from his table and walked by them; James hollered after him,

"Oi, Snively, going to pamper for our date tonight?"

The reject cringed, slowing his step for a moment, before just carrying on as the Gryffindor table chuckled. Sirius was snickering when he saw Lily Evans rise as well, nonchalantly at first, but once she disposed of her plate and utensils, she seemed to run out the door. Peter was distracting himself with devouring all that was left on his plate as attention was centered back on Sirius Black. James pressed, "You're really not coming to Quidditch cause you'd rather be with _Moony_ in _the library_?"

Sirius pulled his silky hair back, tying it back with a band he kept around his wrist at all times as he replied, "In short, yeah."

He stood, repeating Lily's actions and exiting the Great Hall to run off to the dorms. When he went inside, Remus was standing before his full-length mirror that hung in his unattached closet with only a towel wrapped around his waist. He immediately faced the animagus; Sirius's face flooded with blood at the sight of his cute, girlish friend's hairless, dripping torso. It had light pink slashes in all sorts of patterns in random areas and he wasn't muscular, but he was wonderfully fit and thin. His golden eyes were wide in embarrassment until he shut them tight, looking away as he gripped his shoulders, "D-Don't look at it!"

"It?" Sirius pressed to Lupin, as the rest of the room was empty.

"My body…it's so…ugly…I didn't think you'd be done with dinner so fast…"

Sirius's heart twitched, "…if you think your body is ugly…what were you doing looking at yourself?"

Remus's eyes opened, a shimmer foreshadowing tears that sent chills down Sirius's back as he stated nearly inaudibly, "…hating it."

"Hating it?" Sirius implored, "You were looking at yourself…just to hate yourself?"

"It's not myself! It's someone else! It's something else! It's something disgusting and horrible and ugly! I hate it…so it's not me, it can't be..."

As Remus faced the mirror again, Sirius stepped up from behind the boy, planting his hands on moist, frail shoulders as he leaned near Remus's ear and told him,

"It _is_ your body, Remus."

The werewolf choked on what must have been an attempt to halt a sob before Sirius continued, "I know it is…because I think your scars are beautiful."

He saw Remus's wide eyes meet his in their reflections; he made his foggy eyes appear as gentle as Remus's were vulnerable when he added, "Your body is beautiful, Remus…you scars are badges of bravery and selflessness and in my eyes…heroism. Don't think you're ugly…don't say you're ugly…don't 

believe in that…believe what I'm telling you," He turned the boy to face him, wiping away a stray tear on Remus's cheek that had managed to escape, "your hurt makes you stronger, Remus…stronger than any of us, and I admire, cherish and love each and every one of your marks. They make you different and unique in the most beautiful way. You hear me?"

The boy shot forward, plastering Sirius with water in a tight hug as his lanky arms snaked under Sirius's and hooked onto his back desperately, as he beseeched, "R-really? You really mean that, Sirius? T-that can't be right, that can't be true…it's so hideous…"

Sirius gripped more tightly to Remus, insisting, "No, it's not! It's beautiful, Remus."

He heard Remus reluctantly sniffle before asking shakily, "Really?"

Sirius smiled into the damp, sandy hair of his friend, replying, "Really. It's beautiful, Rem. The scars are beautiful, the shape and size and color…it's beautiful." He spread a little from Remus's hold, their arms loosening a bit and Sirius's eyes lowering as the tips of their noses touched he muttered, "_You're_ beautiful."

An urge then overwhelmed Sirius; an urge he had never felt before. It erupted from deep in his chest and exploded into a sensation that ran up lungs and neck and enveloped his mouth with the desire to meet Remus Lupin's. His hands pressed a little into the shoulder blades of the other boy, hoping it would force Remus closer to him; close enough so that Sirius's sudden urge would be vanquished. Their lips did not meet however and Lupin dodged it instinctively, and instead rested his cheek against Sirius's, muttering in a volume ever so subdued, "You're an angel, Sirius Black."

"I-I'm what?"

Remus tore away a little more, repeating, "You're an angel, Sirius. You're the only person that I…you're the only person I can believe in. So when you say things…like things that I'm beautiful when I never believed that…when you say that, it has to be true, it has to be real because you said it. So if you believe it, then I believe it too…"

Sirius blushed furiously as Remus backed away a bit more, running his hand around Sirius's chest then down his stomach, apologizing, "Sorry…I got you wet…I didn't mean to, I just wasn't thinking…"

"No, I like it when you hug me…it's okay."

They stood gazing at each other for a long while; Sirius was wondering if Remus's heart was pounding as erratically and boisterously as his was. Remus simpered, "I'll make note of that, then…you know, Sirius…you look very nice with your hair tied back like that."

The animagus's blush spread to his ears as he mumbled back, "I-I…t-thank you…"

_Damn…why did that take me so long to say? Why did I even hesitate…? What is going on with me today? _

Remus beamed, brushing away a last tear with the back of his curled hand as he suggested lowly, "Can you come to the library with me now?"

"Of course." Sirius immediately replied.

Remus instantaneously turned around and gathered up his clothes, running off to the bathroom.


	7. You Think I Am

**Full of broken thoughts, that I cannot repair…**

* * *

"Is it me or are we really going to the same place every time we come here?"

Remus was pouting as he couldn't reach a specific book, but he didn't ask for help as he replied, "No, it's not you, we have been going to the same place each time; I'm not done with this topic yet and there is so much material on it here…"

"Ugh, I can barely stand how much reading you do."

Sirius was sitting on the top of the table that had become a second home to him; from time to time Remus would open a book there and share relatively interesting information, normally about outrageous ingredients needed for potions the werewolf was researching. Sirius's grey eyes were ensnared by the thin physique of his friend, his elbow propped up on the ever-growing pile of books next to him. His cheek was slumped in his permanently-cushioned palm as he watched the shorter boy struggle to grab at textbooks.

"Well, reading helps me avoid people, and people make me nervous, so it's healthy for me."

"Heh," Sirius began, "sounds like the complete opposite."

He saw Remus turn towards him, pleading,

"Ehm…Sirius, could you help me out?"

"Yeah?" He answered as he slipped from his seat and approached the boy.

"I'm too damn short."

Sirius chuckled, inquiring, "Alright, well, which one do you want?"

Although Sirius was only an inch or two taller, his arms and legs were toned and much longer and stronger than his friend's. Remus grinned, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he admitted, "Ehm…you see, the problem is…I don't know which one I want, cause I can't see what the titles are or who they're by…I was sort of wondering…maybe you might lift me up?"

Sirius perked a brow, "My arms are strong, Rem, but I still wouldn't be able to hold you for long…"

"Well…I was thinking more…I could sit on your shoulders?" He suggested humbly.

Sirius smiled, "Yeah, that should work, fine. You sit on the table and I'll lean down, you just climb on and hold onto my head so you don't fall…"

Remus sighed with relief, "Thanks, Padfoot!"

Remus followed his instructions, once he was on the table, though, he added a step; taking off his shoes. Sirius had asked why and Remus informed him that he wanted to make sure his shoes didn't scrape at Sirius in any which way, on the off chance that he should fall or something of that nature. After that, Remus seated himself on Sirius's shoulders, his knees hanging a little below the animagus's collar-bone as his clothed feet lightly hit against the other boy's stomach. His bottom was resting against the space between the back of Sirius's shoulders and to Sirius's great worry there was something else against him. He didn't think about where his bottom half would be placed; the most sensitive and untouched area of Remus Lupin was pressed up against the back of his neck. At feeling it, a wild river of blood filled Sirius's expression as Remus exclaimed, "Holy Hippogriff! There's so many books up here! H-hey, Sirius?"

"Y-yeah?" Sirius heard his voice crack.

But of course, beautiful and empathetic Remus Lupin didn't ridicule Sirius for that and instead inquired, "Uhm…would you mind…maybe if I stood on your shoulders for a moment…I think there might be a book on the highest shelf that I want, but I can't see or reach it from here…would you mind?"

"Not at a-all."

Remus then settled his hands on the curves of Sirius's neck and lifted his light body so that his feet could be brought up onto the outer lengths of the boy's shoulders. He shifted his weight onto the arches of his feet and stood; letting one of his arms reach out behind him to balance while his other arm rested against the shelf, his fingers tracing all of the dusty titles. Sirius closed his eyes, breathing in deeply; it didn't smell dank and terrible like his house elf anymore. No, the library didn't smell bad at all; it smelled like Remus. And Remus smelled like a forest or green tea or something mildly mint…he couldn't decide, but it certainly didn't smell bad. In fact, it was most intoxicating. Sirius was handed a book from Remus as the brunette told him, "Add that to the pile please?"

"Yep."

Sirius gripped it and slowly placed it onto the tall collection by the edge of the otherwise clear table. He heard Remus talking wildly about how terrific it was; being able to see all these books he had been looking for. He wasn't really listening, though…

"_Have you ever thought…you know…maybe you're gay?"_

"_Calm down, love, it's my pleasure."_

"_If it isn't a crush, then maybe Sirius is noticing girly parts of Moony, cause he has a little crush of his own."_

"_Really, Padfoot? You have a crush on Remus?"_

"_Well, if you're catching behavior we can't see, then you must be looking awful close an awful lot of the time, Sirius; I'm wondering, maybe you're hoping Remus is turning 'into' a girl so that it'd be okay to like him?"_

…Sirius's eyes opened wide…

"_Have you ever thought…you know…maybe you're gay?"_

He absently placed another book on the pile, only noticing just then that the pile was unstable. He looked at the wobbling collection and instinctively whipped around to catch it, but as he went to do that, Remus's foot slipped from his shoulder and he twisted mid-air. Sirius's concerns immediately switched to the werewolf's safety and soon he was cradling the boy. Sirius opened his eyes that he had shut tightly at hearing the heavy books slam to the floor. He opened them to find Remus in his arms; the smaller boy's grip was tight as one hand held fast onto the crook of his neck while the other gripped at his ponytail. His heels were still resting on Sirius's shoulders, but his torso was being supported by the other's stronger arms. Their panicked eyes met, but once Sirius realized the position they were in he let go on impulsive embarrassment and gasped. Remus hit the floor with a thud, rubbing the back of his head with a groan and mumbling, "Thanks a lot, bugger."

"S-sorry…you okay?" Sirius inquired as he let Remus grab his hand to help him up.

"Yeah, I'm fine…you okay?"

"Yeah…sorry about that…just a…delayed reaction, I guess…"

Remus bent over, brushing off his pants as he muttered, "No problem…that all happened pretty fast, so there wasn't much time for reaction anyway; I didn't even get the chance to curse."

Black smiled weakly, "Hey…Remus…"

Had he completely turned towards the table when catching his fragile friend, the poor boy's head may have hit the corner of the wooden table, concussing him or in a worst-case-scenario; killed him. Maybe it was overcoming the shock of that or an inward seizure that was causing Sirius to perceive things in slow motion as his beautiful friend looked to him with that shimmer in his eyes again. His sandy hair was messy, but still silky and somehow organized looking; it was truly a feat if one ever managed to get Remus Lupin to look dirtied or messed. His gentle grin was stretching out onto his cheeks and testing the depth of his dimples that hadn't been there to Sirius before. There was a pink in his cheeks, dressing his freckles and light scratches in a perfect shade of rose, and his golden eyes had fully captured Sirius in a hypnotizing spell he must have created himself.

"Yes?"

Sirius's heart pounded as he felt scarlet fill his face, his eyes low and forward as he answered, "…nevermind…"


	8. Maybe It's Because

**Thank you all reviews and adds so far! It's so so so so so appreciated!!**

**Beneath the stains of time.**

* * *

"I'm ogling him and you're not saying anything."

James looked to his friend, ruining his efforts of trying to pay attention to their potions teacher. He dropped his glasses, which he had been playing with as he whispered, "What?"

Sirius looked to the other boy, "I'm ogling him and you're not saying anything."

James flustered, inquiring, "You mean to say…you like him?"

"I don't know. I don't think so, but you're right in saying that lately I'm captivated."

James cocked a brow, "Where did you learn that word?"

"What?"

"Captivated—where did you learn that?"

Sirius thought a moment, then looked back at James, replying, "I suppose I learned it from Moony."

James ran a hand through his hair, "You know I was joking when I teased you about liking him. I know you're not gay."

Black's testosterone kicked in again, "Damn straight. Ha, get it? Straight? That was funny of me."

"Nine."

"Nine what?"

James chuckled, "Nothing."

Sirius shrugged before James added, "So…captivated…why? Why do you think you're…uh...distracted by him lately?"

"Dunno," Sirius started, looking back to the werewolf jotting notes, "it's not like I don't like it, though. Something's really nice about it."

"It?"

Sirius looked to James again, "Yeah…the…uhm…captivation? The…the whole feeling I get from it. You know, he's kinda weak…"

"_Ehm…could you please carry the others for me, Sirius? Seems I'm not as much muscle as I thought…"_

"…and quiet…" Sirius added…

" …_so…jumping out of nowhere while I'm studying…just…uh…I don't know. Sorry, I'll try harder."_

"…and shy…"

"_Well, reading helps me avoid people, and people make me nervous, so it's healthy for me."_

"…and nervous a lot of the time…"

"_I mean, it's okay if you don't, I know it bores you out of your mind, but I always went alone and now that you've gone with me I guess I just enjoy your company and if you would that would be great and it's not like I don't want you to, cause I mean if I didn't want you to I guess I wouldn't ask you about this, but—" _

"…and I like that about him. Maybe I've just never known anyone like that." Sirius finished.

James's mouth slanted in thought, "Maybe. Dunno…I have a feeling you've known people like that. Maybe you just never socialized with anyone who could read."

Sirius scowled jokingly, "Very funny, James, but that includes you."

"Well, Sirius will be turning sixteen soon, so maybe he's just a bit confused about…you know…"

They looked to Peter who sat behind them, always offering a medium. James blushed as did Sirius as the dog fought in a hushed tone, "A-absolutely not! I get hot for girls, not werewolves!"

Peter shrugged, "I'm just saying; I mean…have you…you know, ever wanked to anything other than your dirty magazines?"

Sirius smirked, "Obviously, dunderhead, my mind is an effing ocean of vivid fantasies."

"Metaphors now?! Vivid? Vivid!?" James begged.

"So what? Moony's enlarging my vocabulary!"

"Enlarging?! Vocabulary?! Vivid?! What the hell is going on with you!?" James shot in a whisper.

"Shut up! Nothing's going on with me; he makes me smarter!"

Peter interjected, "Calm down, guys…so, Padfoot…have you wanked…like…recently?"

"No."

"Eh…when was the last time you did?" Peter interviewed awkwardly.

"Well…seeing as I've been in the library on my normal wank-schedule…I guess…I mean…maybe a little more than two weeks?"

The two boys dropped their jaws; this was unheard of. Sirius Black didn't talk openly about his more lewd behavior, but it wasn't news to anyone who heard of it; it wasn't something he kept a secret after 

all, it just wasn't usually the star of conversation. Any civil conversation, anyway, and Remus Lupin and James Potter made quite sure that although Sirius Black wasn't entirely the classy-type, he would keep from ruining any dignity he had left. Said Potter was the first to speak up again,

"What? Are you saving yourself for him?!"

Sirius glared, "Oh shut up! I've just been busy, and carrying a lot of weight in books, saving his life, it's exhausting so I just go to slee-"

"Saving his life?" Peter interrupted.

"Yeah," Sirius began, "he made me lift him up the last time we were there cause he was too short to get to the books he wanted. Well of course he slips off my shoulders and nearly cracks his head open on the table, and had I, the desirable and heroic Sirius Black, not been so desirable and heroic I wouldn't have been able to save him from his fall. Anyway, we usually get back so late that I just go straight to sleep. No time between classes or anything, and even though I want to…I mean…I could get to any girl I wanted if I really needed something like that. They're all falling to their knees when they see me walk down the hall, so it's not as if I don't have my pickings, I just don't really care lately."

"Boys?" The potions master called.

They all turned to face the front again, finally earning Remus's attention. The curious frown and bewildered eyes he wore was making Sirius's chest contract; Lupin was being cute again. As many girls stared at Sirius when he was being scolded for pranks or inappropriate conversation during class, he instinctively winked at Remus; catching James's eye again. Sirius hadn't even known what he had done until he made eye-contact with James.

Sirius flustered, looking away lowly; his heart pounding at Remus's girlish behavior, taking the boy's hand on instinct, easily moved by his words, embracing him every chance he got, trying to kiss him on impulse, turning red at his body up against his own, instinctively winking…

"_Have you ever thought…you know…maybe you're gay?"_


	9. Weight of the World

**Another update! Hope you guys like it! Thank you to all adds and reviews, it's so so so so so so appreciated!!**

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**Those feelings disappear…**

* * *

"So, you understand that another one of these pranks will result in serious detention-time, right, Sirius?" Dumbledore inquired.

Sirius hadn't been paying attention, so instead replied, "Professor, have you ever liked a boy?"

The old man stopped dead in his tracks, causing Sirius to slow down then turn to him. The headmaster touched at his beard and with a face as gently stoic as always, asked,

"Why do you ask? Do you think you like another boy?"

The ebony-haired student blushed lightly, his brows furrowed as he implored, "Is that bad? I don't know! I'm not sure, I'm just…I'm just…"

"Remus Lupin is certainly a unique pick, Mr. Black."

"Whuh?" The boy, dumbfounded, pressed.

"You know, there are many explanations to attraction, Mr. Black. Let's use Remus as our example, okay?"

"Uhm…okay…"

"Okay," Dumbledore began, "well, let's say you suddenly found that you were attracted to him romantically. This isn't an odd thing, especially at your age. But you have to think of why. Now, sometimes as a best friend you have obligations. Sometimes these obligations become something embedded into a person and they feel the need to do other things for their friends. Now…have you ever made a promise to Remus?"

"A promise…?" Sirius thought for a moment, his eyes lowering sullenly as he finished, "…not to him, but…for him…"

"For him? Care to elaborate?"

"Well…"

"_He's so pale all the time."_

"_Yeah…hey, James?"_

"_Yeah?"_

"_You think…you think we should go and say hello to him?"_

"_What? You'll hold and I'll throw a hex?"_

_Sirius shook his head, "No…no…I mean…look at him. He's…pitiful. It doesn't even look like he's got any friends…maybe we should…you know, let him be friends with us. We're popular enough and we're only first-years…by the time we're done with him, he'll be able to stand on his own two feet and it can be just you and me again."_

_James cocked a brow, "I dunno, Sirius, people don't just grow like that. It's probably his nature to be shy and…out-casty. Us being his friends probably won't be enough, it's too in his personality to be rejected and quiet. He wouldn't be able to stand it."_

"_So?"_

"_So! So I'm saying that he wouldn't be able to stand up for himself against rumors or bullies or people hating him just cause we randomly chose him to be cool. He's not emotionally, and I'm sure just looking at him, not physically strong enough to stand up against all that."_

"_So," Sirius offered, "let's you and me promise to protect him."_

"Well, Sirius…don't you think maybe…in your search for committed protection, perhaps you're seeking a closer position in his life to protect him from heartbreak? Maybe you've noticed his more gentle or feminine side because you're beginning to feel that he can't have a loving relationship with anyone who doesn't understand his fragility?"

Sirius's brows sank as he retorted, "No. No, that's not it."

"Are you quite sure, Sirius? It wouldn't be unnatural. After all, you've protected him from every other relationship."

The boy turned to his headmaster, his ponytail whipping lightly at his neck, "What?"

"Well," Dumbledore began, "Sirius, you have enabled him. As a muggle uses drugs to escape the reality they are afraid of, Remus uses his reclusive ways to avoid the world that scares him. You enable him to avoid others by protecting him and convincing yourself that it's an honorable thing to do for him. Remus has good reason to be anti-social—"

"Damn right he does!" Sirius snapped, "His 'condition' takes up his entire effing life! It's no surprise that he's scared and he shouldn't be scared, so protecting hi—"

"Exactly, Sirius." Dumbledore calmly interjected, "He is scared because he has never faced it and you have given him more reason to hide; you act as the exact kind of shield he wants. So his fear grew from you and James feeding it."

Sirius stepped back a little, mumbling, "What's another explanation…you know, to me being attracted to him?"

"There are many different scenarios I could play out for you, Sirius. There are so many different reasons that people find sudden attraction. Although it is likely that you just feel obligated to protect him from heartache, thus want to occupy his romantic life, we have to keep in mind the more favorable alternative."

"That's?"

"That you have fallen in love."

Sirius blushed, "But…you mean…like…l-love? Love with a boy? I don't know so much about that, Professor."

"Doesn't matter if you know or not. Love has nothing to do with the brain."

The student turned back to the old man as he continued, "Sometimes the heart makes decisions the brain can't. Sirius, I understand you're very popular with the girls, perhaps your attraction is erupting from boredom. I can't be sure of anything, Sirius, but I can tell you that if you want someone, you have to make it clear. You have to treat them how you want them."

They stood at Dumbledore's office entrance as Sirius bowed his head and mumbled, "Thank you, Headmaster."

"Never a problem, Sirius. I'm proud of how smart you have grown. Please tell me how everything works out for you and Remus."

With that, he closed the door. Sirius turned and descended the Phoenix stairs, but once he stepped off, he wondered aloud in a mutter, "…wait…how did he know all that?"

"Hey! Sirius!" James called from down the hall.

He looked to see Remus and Peter with him; his heart thumped at the very sight of the sandy-brunette.

_You have to treat them how you want them._

Sirius blushed, hoping that they group was still far enough not to spot the red on his face. Sirius knew when he wanted a girl, he just tried to impress them with his smooth-talking and good looks which normally concluded with great success. But Remus wasn't anything like that; Remus wasn't some average girl Sirius wanted in his pants. Remus Lupin wasn't dull, he was brilliant and classy and liked sophisticated humor, and he usually played on the safe side and he wasn't seeking attention, in fact, he avoided it. Hell, Remus wasn't anything like the girls Sirius liked; not to mention he was quite sure Remus had an extra appendage or two that he wasn't so used to hunting. Remus was something completely different from all of that. Once it was abundantly clear to Sirius that Remus was unlike any of the girls he showered with attention and dream-boat tactics, he was left wondering…

_How do I impress a boy? _

"In much trouble Padfoot?" Peter inquired.

Sirius shrugged, "Not enough to put an end to my antics."

"I told you it was a bad idea." Remus announced, his nose in a book. He hadn't even looked up to see Sirius's pink cheeks as he continued, "I told you Snape wouldn't take that lying down. Gargantuan Hornet Slugs aren't good creatures to use in underwear-related pranks. Too much evidence."

"Well, I got away with it, didn't I?" Sirius pressed, all-knowingly.

Remus finally moved his humored, golden eyes to Sirius, replying with a reluctant smile, "You always do, don't you? Is it a magic you and James made yourselves?"

Sirius cocked a brow, "Huh? What do you mean?"

"I mean," Remus began, "how you and him do horrid things and say awful stuff, but still end up the heroes."

Sirius couldn't come up with a response; his nerves too warped by the hypnosis Remus's rich eyes casted over him. To his great pleasure, James spoke up before Sirius could have stammered anything degrading and chirped, "Yeah, I suppose it's just a magic him and I share. We're just too cute to be angry at for long!"

"Boys," A teacher approached, "where are you headed?"

"Dark Arts, Ma'am." Peter replied for the group.

She smiled to him, requesting humbly, "Would you boys mind running a small errand for me?"

"Sure!" James immediately volunteered.

She sank into a scowl, replying, "I happen to know a lot about you, Mr. Potter, you won't be going anywhere."

"Why's that!?" James fought.

"Because I know every opportunity you get out of class you start up with your delinquent-pranks and jokes. I also know that Peter is failing Defense, so I'll send Sirius and Remus."

Remus put his book into the back-pack that's sling stretched diagonally across his chest and rested against his tiny waist. He flicked some overgrown tan hair from his pale and scarred forehead before glancing at Sirius and gladly telling her,

"Our pleasure. What is it we're doing?"

She stepped closer with three scrolls in her hand, informing the duo, "These need to be flown to Xanadu tower, just north of our Forbidden Forest. If you could get them there within this hour, that'd be great, but don't fly too fast, I can't imagine what I'd do with myself if ever you two were hurt on my account. Anyway, they need to be delivered to a potions professor, Absolon Gaspard on the top floor. He'll be waiting there for you, and I happen to know he's an easy spotter—he's a rather flamboyant dresser."

Sirius could feel the anxiety envelope Remus's aura as he stuttered, "U-uhm, ma'am, can I-I ask why you can't s-simply use the owls?"

She explained, "There was a small misunderstanding with the Ministry and air-transportation concerning them a while back and they don't allow any animal-messengers anymore. Anyway, please tell me when it is he received it when you get back and if he sends a message back. Good luck, boys!"

With that she turned on her heel as Remus turned to beg James to go in his place, but Peter and James had left for Defense Against the Dark Arts while she had been ranting. He looked to Sirius with wide eyes, muttering, "I can't go, Padfoot. You have to go without me."

"Why?!" Sirius snapped.

"Because! I'm a terrible flyer, not to mention I'm scared to death of heights! Don't make me go with you, please, Sirius, please!"

The ebony-haired boy sighed, "Fine. You don't have to go, but now it's gonna be a deal."

Remus nodded, "D-definitely! Anything!"

"Instead of going to the Library on Friday afternoons, I drag you along to something I wanna do."

The werewolf scrunched his nose in displeasure with a spoiled pout, "But you're gonna make me do something embarrassing or you're gonna pull a prank on me!"

"Well," Sirius grunted, "you're just gonna have to take that chance, otherwise you're comin' out with me."

Remus glared, "Fine, you win, whatever. I'll talk to you later, Sirius."

He simpered at Lupin, trying to get him to smile again as he chided, "No frowning, love, you know I adore seeing those fangs of yours."

Sirius wanted to slap his hand over his mouth; his womanizing-instincts were beginning to dominate conversation between himself and Remus. To his surprise, though, Remus laughed and rolled his eyes before responding with a dulled humor, "Yeah, thanks, Padfoot. Heh, I'll talk to you later."

Black's eyes lowered, watching the werewolf turn away and run down the path he and the group always would to Defense Against the Dark Arts. Once he reached the corner, though, he turned to face Sirius, beaming as he waved cutely. Sirius waved back with lazy, curled fingers and then Remus disappeared around the hall. Sirius turned, but stopped when the thought hit him; he wondered how Remus knew Sirius stayed to wave goodbye.


	10. Look What You've Done

**Thank you all reviews and adds so far! Sorry it took so long to update! Hope you enjoy the latest chapter!**

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**You are someone else…**

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"Why didn't you tell me!?" Peter complained to a chuckling James.

He snorted, "God, Peter, isn't it clear?" He glanced to Sirius who walked on his other side, continuing, "You're no good at pranks. I mean, you are, but you're no good at hiding it."

"Whah!?" The boy cried.

Sirius and James giggled; Black taking note of the brunette walking to his left side. His nose was in a book, yet again, but he still kept the grace and speed that truly made him Remus Lupin. Sirius was entranced by the glowing, yet somehow forlorn look in the werewolf's eyes when James's voice came back into focus,

"Just like Moony, aye?"

James nudged Sirius and hearing his name triggered Remus's attention,

"Sorry? What was said about me?"

James leaned over Sirius as they turned a corner, replying, "You're no good at pulling pranks cause you've got no poker face!"

Remus shot his arms down in protest, "I resent that! I do too have a poker face!"

James chuckled, "As if, Moony, you've got zero tolerance for our tricks and you're a teacher's pet! Of course you don't have any innocent-acting skills!"

"Fine," Lupin agreed, "I admit I'm not a good actor at all, but I'll have you know that I'm quite good at hiding things, so my poker face is actually very trained. Hiding my stress isn't a great talent, sorry, but I think you having to perfect your acting skills to lie is worse than any anti-skills I have."

James rolled his eyes, "Yeah, yeah, you nag like my mother."

Just at that moment, Ms. Lily Evans was rushing past them. James gripped her arm before she could pass, cutting over Peter who immediately rushed to the end of their group's line; by Remus's side. She scowled at James, seething,

"What do you want, Potter?"

He grinned, "Just a look at that pretty face of yours, love."

Sirius blushed, remembering how that seemed to be his subconscious's new nickname for his maybe-crush. She groaned in disgust, trying to free her arm from him, but to no avail,

"Let go of me! I'm in a rush!"

"And why is that?" James interviewed.

She may as well have grown horns with fire in her eyes as she snarled, "If you must know, I'm off to meet a friend of mine, now let go."

He did as she ordered and she immediately stomped off, ignoring James calling compliments after her. He looked to Sirius, a sly and relaxed face drawn on as he muttered, "Yeah, she wants me."

Sirius and Remus bit back laughter as Peter just looked bewildered. James didn't appreciate the red faces holding laughter, so instead changed the subject,

"Hey, Padfoot?"

"Yeah?"

"Peter, Remus!" Interrupted a voice.

They all turned around to see the Hospital Wing nurse approaching, she seemed nearly panicked, but she was a high-anxiety person whose emotions really went to extremes; meaning none of them even batted an eye at her exasperated appearance.

"I need you two, your parents are here."

Peter took on the nurse's expression as Remus's brows curved into a cross of anger and sadness. He muttered,

"My mother came alone?"

The nurse nodded, "She told me your father was unable to make it, that he was bombarded with work."

He looked away, "Yeah, that sounds about right."

Sirius and James both moved their gazes to Remus until the nurse insisted, "Come on, then, come on, they're waiting!"

"Why are they here?" Peter pressed worriedly as he walked up to her.

They both began walking as she replied, "Well your parents wanted to take you home for this weekend, so they came after getting Dumbledore's permission. Yours," she said, turning back to Remus who stood frozen beside Sirius, "…she came to check up on you. She said you haven't replied to a single letter she's sent and she's worried sick that you dropped dead somewhere and she was left without a clue."

Remus looked away from all eight eyes that centered on him, responding softly, "Do I really need to see her right now?"

The nurse looked displeased, "Yes. She's practically having a heart-attack, so I'd say now is a good time to say hello."

Sirius went out to put a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder, but he very suddenly speed-walked past the nurse and Peter, muttering, "Let's get this over with then…"

Peter frowned as did Sirius and James while the nurse looked after Remus as if he were a blatant criminal let out free of charge. Peter waved back at them awkwardly before following the nurse and Remus's trail. James and Sirius turned back around, headed to the Great Hall when Sirius inquired,

"Why was Remus so bummed?"

James sighed heavily, "He doesn't talk about it, but I heard Dumbledore talking with his mother once. Course I wasn't supposed to hear this, so you better not repeat a word of this, but from what I heard I know Remus and his father were really close but ever since Remus was bitten his father's been completely disgusted with him, calls him a bloomer; barely treats him like a human."

"But," Sirius began, "I…I thought his mother said his father would have come if he could've…"

James shrugged, "His mother's always making up stories like that so that Remus doesn't have to hear that his father isn't done erasing Remus's existence from his memory bank."

Sirius's heart sank as he looked onto James's indignant glare; it wasn't a glare directed at Sirius, the absent nurse or Remus, it was meant for the werewolf's father. James stopped by a stone ledge, near to the outside of the castle where many kids were gossiping and laughing to sit in between two of the pillars. He sighed,

"I hate his father for that. I mean, my dad can get on my case sometimes and I'll say I hate him for it…but Remus…he and his father never fought…then suddenly Remus is changed and his father doesn't even acknowledge he's alive anymore…and Remus doesn't do a single thing. He doesn't complain or yell or scream…he doesn't even hate him. He just keeps loving his father from far away…I don't understand how…or why…but he does it…and I don't think he's stopped for a single moment."

Sirius quietly fumed, "That's bullshit. Remus is practically the ϋbermensch! He might as well—"

"I know," James interjected, "you know I know. But bringing it up will hurt Remus, so we shouldn't talk about it."

As James stood again, Sirius's heart throbbed and he stated, "That's not protecting."

"What?"

Sirius turned to face James, rewording, "That's…that's not right. He should talk about his father…otherwise we're just hurting him more…"

"What?" James started, cocking a brow in frustration to Sirius making an argument against him, "I thought we swore to protect him, you of all people—"

"I know! I know what we promised, but we can't protect him forever—"

"Oh, well, genius, I told you that about, let's see—four years ago! Remember? Remember when I said he couldn't stand on his own if we—"

"Yes! Damn it, I know! I know, but if he—"

"If he what, Sirius!? If he what? If we talk about his father, he'll blow up at us or get depressed; don't fucking do it!"

"No!" Sirius shot, "No! Because if he can't talk about his father with us, then he can't trust us and if he can't trust us—"

"He doe—"

"We're teaching him to hide, James! Damn it, can't you see that!? If we're letting him hide and lie, we're teaching him to run from the people that love him most!"

"Hide and lie about what?!"

"James! Are you listening to me at all!? He needs to face pain like rumors and people and his father, otherwise he can't grow and we're helping him! We're making it more possible for him to avoid people and avoid pain and disappointment! We ca—"

"Sirius." James interrupted, "Let's not argue. Not now. We'll talk about it later. Okay?"

Black exhaled deeply, muttering, "Fine. What else would you like to talk about?"

James scowled at the sarcastic-like tone Sirius had given him and cocked a brow as he replied harshly,

"How about we talk about the wonderful time you and Remus had the other day?"

"What are you talking about?"

James ground his teeth with a cross of all-knowingness and disgust on his face as he repeated, "The other day, you know, when you two set off on your brooms for a romantic afternoon at Xanadu tower."

"Shut up, James, you know I went alone."

"Alone?" James's expression suddenly melted to confusion, "What do you mean you went alone?"

"Remus stayed behind, of course. Don't be making up stories now."

James took a step back with concerned eyes, "…he didn't go with you?"

"How many times do I have to say that?"

"Well, he wasn't in Defense!"

They both stared at each other for a long moment until Sirius implored, "He…wasn't in Defense? What do you mean he wasn't in Defense?"

"I mean Peter and I thought he went with you! He never showed up!"

There was a heavy silence again until Sirius mumbled, "…impossible…where was he then?"

"Library?" James offered.

"Doubt it; he would've got caught by a teacher there…"

"Unless he went to the dorm first and used my cloak." James suggested darkly.

"But..." Sirius began, "...why?"


	11. Mr Brightside

**I know I suck, I'm sorry it's been so long. Here's the new chapter, thank you to all reviews, adds and PMs, it's been so wonderful! Hope you like the new chapter.**

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**I am still right here.**

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"Rem…are you alright?"

Sirius spread the scarlet curtains surrounding his friend's bed, but there was nothing to be found. He frowned, but his expression lifted a bit at spotting the book piles around and on the edge of his bed. He closed the curtains and decided to check the library, but the werewolf was nowhere to be found. He felt a sudden paranoia wash over him and he resolved to search the entire school for the boy. He was looking under the center couch in the common room when his more recent girlfriend walked in. She giggled at his end in the air and his head under the furniture, but once he recognized the rather obnoxious laughter as his girlfriend he sprang up and quizzed,

"Do you know where Remus is?"

Her smile died out; she had been unhappy with Sirius and his spending so much time with his friends rather than her. They had only been going out for a week or so and Sirius was already sick of her. She had come by his dorm days prior, looking for him only to find that he was in the library with Remus. She immediately responded, "No. Why do you need him?"

"He might…he might be really upset and…"

_"Then you have me. Whenever you feel alone, I promise to save you from that."_

_"Thanks, Moony…thank you."_

"And?"

"And…I…I just need to see him."

"Why? Men are supposed to be strong on their own. I bet he'd just be embarrassed if you saw him all upset over something."

_"I love to be around you too. You keep me from being lonely. That means more than you can imagine."_

"No. He loves having me around. Him and me…we…we keep each other from…getting…"

The girl cocked a brow and he huffed, walking by her before muttering, "As if you could understand."

He ran down the moving stairs, but realized one of the others was nearing closer to the exit he needed. He hooked his sizeable hands onto the railing and threw his body into the air like a dive in rewind, tossing himself onto the other staircase, only just landing it. He descended the steps and ran out the side of the castle, calling Remus's name to the empty lake and seemingly empty grounds. He finally saw a figure hunched over and holding to its knees by the blanket of water lapping the ground and rushed over,

"Remus! Remus!"

The boy looked to Sirius, his eyes worn and tired looking as he forced a smile, "Hi, Sirius."

"What the hell!? I've been looking all over for you! Where have you been!? I was worried!"

Remus looked away momentarily, causing Sirius to soften his tone and realize the glassy look in the werewolf's golden eyes. Sirius slowly took Remus's hand in his, planting it lightly to the sand-like dirt which surprised the boy, making him stare at the connection, then back to Sirius. The ebony-haired boy leaned a little closer and inquired gently,

"Are you okay?"

"I am now."

Sirius blushed as Remus moved closer to him and muttered, "Would you mind if I put my head on you?"

"No, I wouldn't mind it."

Remus tucked his handsome face into the crook of Sirius's neck, forcing all the blood in his body into his face as his heart beat like a drum in his ears. He felt the boy cuddle his silky caramel hair and cinnamon-freckled face into his shoulder. He rested his own head on Remus's and wondered what they must look like to someone watching from far away. Remus practically sitting in his lap, their hands entwined between them and heads resting against each other…he thought they must look like a couple. His fluster deepened at realizing that thought didn't disturb him at all.

"Sirius."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"…for what?"

"For being so amazing to me."

They broke away from each other, but Remus's proximity still warmed Sirius's face as he asked, "What?"

"You're nicer to me than anyone else has ever been. You let me say stuff that makes other people feel awkward and you don't mind having me around."

"I love having you around. I don't understand who wouldn't."

Sirius's heart skipped a beat as Remus sharply moved forward and rested his cheek against Sirius's. Remus's breath ran across his ear,

"I don't know how to thank you for saying those things. What do you do when 'thank you' isn't enough?"

Something deep in Sirius's stomach forced him to turn and rest his lips against Remus's cheek. When he pulled away the brunette looked at him wide-eyed as his dainty hand touched the tingling spot. He went to ask a question but Sirius pressed his lips against Remus's, although it was timid and soft, Sirius's heart boomed like thunder. He opened his eyes to see Remus staring back, wonderment etched into his adorable face. The werewolf finally interviewed,

"Kiss?"

"Uhm…what?"

"I should kiss you?"

Sirius blushed, "W-what are you-"

"When I don't know how to thank you, Sirius…should I kiss you?"

Black's face was crimson, his chest throbbing as he swallowed a ball of fire,

"Yes. That's, uhm, that's what friends do, Remus. I-I know you're not used to having close friends like me, so I'll t-teach you the proper way of doing things."

"Won't your girlfriend get upset if she knew we kissed?"

Sirius looked away, "She won't be my girlfriend much longer if she keeps showing up and speaking."

Remus laughed, "You're positively primeval, Sirius."

He chuckled, admiring Remus's smile as he interviewed, "Since you're such good friends, do you kiss James often?"

Sirius blushed, his face shrinking back in disgust, "N-no! I-I mean…what have I got to thank him for?"

Remus giggled again, the watery glimmer in his eyes slowly dying out as he continued,

"I suppose you haven't got much to be grateful for from Peter either?"

"Bingo."

Remus stood, "Well, I must go find James then."

"Why?"

"Well, he's been just as good to me as you, I've got to make sure I'm not impolite, I've got to thank him properly."

Sirius shot up from his seat on the ground, "No!"

They stood staring at each other for a long few moments before Remus questioned,

"No? You don't want me to kiss James?"

Sirius gulped again, his face on the verge of spontaneously combusting, "N-no. I don't. I-I want you to only kiss me, Rem, I'm-I'm the one who kissed you first and that means that I'm the only one allowed to."

Remus tilted his head in that painfully adorable way that made Sirius's stomach twist into butterflies,

"Really, now? I can only kiss you from now on?"

"T-that's right."

Remus beamed, "Alright then. Come, let's go to dinner."

Sirius left with the boy into the castle, so overwhelmed by his beauty, grace and innocence that he forgot exactly why he had been looking for him. Sirius Black had forgotten to interrogate the werewolf on why he cut class. He loved to watch Remus smile, laugh and shake away his sadness, but Sirius didn't know then what a dangerous mistake it was to leave that question unanswered.


	12. It Was Only A Kiss

**Merry Christmas everyone! My Super-Awesome-Totally-Cool gift is to update every fanfic I have on-going on the same day so everyone gets something to read! Hope you like your new chapter! Have a Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah! **

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**If I could start again.**

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"This is utterly cruel. Why can't you just leave him alone?"

James rolled his eyes, turning to Remus defiantly, "Shut up, Moony, you'll ruin this whole thing! And who gives a hippogriff's arse if it's cruel? He'd do the same to us if he got the chance!"

Remus pouted, wisely shutting his mouth. Peter shrugged, "I dunno. Snape never really does anything to us."

James shot Peter a nasty look, silencing him as well. Sirius looked to Remus, smiling in hopes of cheering him up,

"It's not the worst we've done, Moony."

The brunette looked away, "I remember when James did that to me first year; it took a month to get the sludge out of my socks. It was disgusting."

Sirius choked down a laugh, "Sounds like it."

James finished pouring the foaming potion in Severus's unfortunate drawer and signaled for them all to leave, under his invisibility cloak. That reminded Sirius of a very important question he had forgotten to ask Remus a week prior; where he went when he uncharacteristically cut class. He knew it was inappropriate to bring it up in front of Peter, though, and he didn't want to argue over Remus with James right in front of him. He resolved to wait until they were all going to bed to sit down with the werewolf and interview him more privately. He and the group waddled through the halls, closely bunched together on tip-toes, occasionally bumping into a corner or wall or railing until they made it back to the Gryffindor common room. They got out from the cloak and rushed up the stone stairway, chuckling all the way; all but Remus, that was. Sirius thought it was cute, though, that Remus had such a pure feeling of sympathy for the outcast. Said boy stopped halfway up the steps to look out of one of the windows; Peter and James racing ahead, barely noticing he had dropped out of peripheral vision. Sirius slowly halted, though and watched the moonlight coat the boy's handsome face in milky layers of whites and blue shadows. His golden irises glowed, emanating an aura that elicited Sirius's full attention; the way the shining, vivid yellow halos tightened or loosened around the hypnotizing black galaxy in the middle sparkled with something enticing. Sirius didn't know what it was in the riches of his friend's eyes that captured him, but it was a hint or a phrase, a lyric or a guitar solo; it was bewitching, alluring, seductive, tempting, beguiling. Dangerous.

"Rem?"

He turned to Sirius, his face much more serious than before, "I'm sick of being this."

Sirius's heart wrenched; he just wanted to take it away. All the scars that punctured Remus's esteem, all the memories that fractured his heart, all of the burdens that were splintering his spine with their weight on his shoulders. His eyes narrowed,

"I'm sorry, Rem. You know if there was anything…you know…I'd do anything."

Remus didn't blink, his gorgeous eyes twisting Sirius further and further into his intimidating spirit that swirled like miasma in the ancient hall. Sirius swallowed,

"You know that, right? If there was anything…you know, right?"

Remus still did not respond as Sirius stepped down to him, stepping into the rays of blue moon, eyeing him empathetically,

"Someday, there will be something for me to do."

"Whatever it would be, it would be far too dangerous."

"I'd die for you." Sirius replied, as if Remus should have known.

The brunette leaned on his toes, reaching Sirius's height which had two inches more than Remus; his scarred hands reached up, hooking onto Sirius's jaw and pulling him into a shy kiss. Sirius felt his heart lift in his chest at the warm and soft feeling of Remus's mouth against his own; he brought his broom-callused hands up to Remus's face and twisted his fingers through Remus's silky hair. He applied pressure to the base of Remus's neck, allowing himself further entrance to Remus as he ran his tongue over the boy's lips. He felt the werewolf stiffen against him, nervous in the cutest way, but he did feel Remus hesitantly open his mouth to him. Sirius deepened the kiss, caressing and messing the boy's tuffs of auburn lovingly. He could never describe the elation Remus gave him; not only his magical presence, but the way he was so gentle yet such a physical, emotional and mental threat, the way he was so well-worded and cultured, the way he carried an unsubstantiated guilt, the way he was everything Sirius wasn't. It was spellbinding. Truly.

Sirius pulled away, Remus huffing lightly as he murmured,

"You're welcome…"

Sirius chuckled, "Back at you."

Remus tilted his beautiful face, the ivory and indigos of the night sky leaking into his irises, playing with the dilation of his pupils and melting into the gold with ease; fascinating Sirius further.

"Sirius…"

"Yes?"

"You said that…you are the only one I can kiss, right?"

Sirius blushed, guilt tugging at his conscience as he stammered, "Y-yes…"

"Then I'm glad."

Sirius's blush deepened, "What do you mean?"

"Well…you remember when I was telling you how…no girl really understands me? Remember when I told you how…it seemed so pointless to me?"

Sirius nodded as the boy continued, "Well…you understand me. You treat me so well and you actually care about me even though you know…all that stuff about me…and if I can't kiss another person anymore, then I don't have to worry about it anymore. I don't have to be romantic with anyone but you."

Remus's honey eyes met Sirius's silver and finished, "You'll keep me, won't you?"

The ebony-haired boy's heart skipped a beat, his head spinning; did Remus just—in his own twisted and passive aggressive way—ask him to be his boyfriend? He could do nothing but grip Remus again and pull him into a passionate kiss, tasting every corner of Remus's dictionary, the sweet instrument that created beautiful choruses and heart-thumping symphonies with every syllable that escaped him. He held tightly to Remus's upper-arms, almost violently, but he could no longer control himself; everything about the adorable, merciful, polite, gentle, dangerous and unintentionally seductive Remus Lupin pulled him around like a marionette. He loved Remus.

He pulled away, catching his excited breath, "Remus, I'll keep you." He pulled Remus into a tight embrace, "I'll protect you, forever, Remus, I want you with me, always."

He broke the connection, wrapping his hands back into Remus's hair, looking him hard in the eyes,

"Don't mind them—not a one, not anyone—I think you're beautiful, you're beautiful, Rem and I think you're wonderful in every way and I want to kiss you and keep you and…Remus, I want to…"

Remus's eyes were wide; concentrated, but shocked at Sirius's wound up reaction as Sirius attempted to finish,

"I…I want to…I want to be your world, Remus, if you'll…you'll let me, won't you?"

Remus did not answer, but kissed Sirius softly before smiling, "Thank you."

"Thank you."

Remus took Sirius's hand and led them both up the stairs and into the dormitory. James was taking off his tie, walking around in his collared shirt and boxers while Peter was scrunching up into a fetal position under his covers. James ran a hand through his messy hair, interviewing suspiciously,

"What took you two?"

Remus glanced to Sirius, releasing his hand to walk over to his own dressers and change; Sirius looked to James's glare and answered,

"He just wanted to talk to me."

James wasn't happy with that response; Sirius knew he wouldn't be, but didn't care enough to censor himself. He went to his own bedside, stripping down to his boxers and leaving his clothes a mess on the floor and climbed into his bed. He was closing the curtains around the bed until he paused, staring at Remus readying his own unit. He was in pajama pants, everything neat and tidy; the moonlight coming through the far end the room's window highlighting the weak streaks of scars marring his otherwise God-carved torso. He was hanging up his collared shirt in his closet, not even glancing to his reflection before closing the door; he was not noticing Sirius's intent gaze. Sirius's metal stare was bolted to Remus's mouth; swollen and pink from Sirius's harsh kisses. He felt his cheeks heat up and tingle, his heart thumped a bit more loudly behind his ribs at the tantalizing memory. He wanted to kiss Remus more. He could have been completely content with watching every graceful and poetic movement Remus's body made all night, as he wasn't noticing Sirius at all, but James was. He was getting into his own bed, across the room and he was eyeing Sirius strangely. Sirius sighed and closed his curtains, lying on his back with nothing but the hungry desire to kiss Remus again on his mind; his full lips were so soft and warm, moist and healthy and they casted a charm on Sirius's mind.

Everyone was in bed, night consuming the dormitory in sleep and silence; Sirius could not fall asleep, though. He was contemplating a sleep-spell until he heard a shuffle near to him and looked to find Remus in the space between his now slightly ajar curtains. Sirius swallowed, his face burning as he sat up sharply, inquiring gently and nearly inaudibly,

"Are you okay?"

"Yes."

Sirius could've melted away; he loved the sound of Remus's hushed voice. It fit him and his personality to perfectly. The Quidditch player glanced away for a moment before asking,

"Uhm…well…is there something you need?"

"Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Sirius nodded fervently, his mouth open to tell him yes, but his brain functioning extremely slowly. Remus walked through the curtains and worked his way onto the bed, shutting the red flaps behind him. He was on his knees, his lanky hands twitching by his knees bashfully as he explained quietly,

"I had a nightmare the other night and I haven't been getting much sleep since. I thought you'd maybe let me stay with you so I could sleep."

Sirius simpered, leaning forward and kissing Remus again, filling that void of want in his stomach with furious butterflies and sweet tea. When they pulled away Remus's eyes were half-lidded as he stared dreamily at Sirius; Sirius was surprised at the control he never knew he had over Remus. He laid the boy down beside him, spreading his arms out to welcome Remus onto him. The boy took advantage of that and crawled up against him, wrapping one arm around Sirius's waist and another was pulled up to his face, his palm holding his own cheek against Sirius's chest. There was comfortable silence until Remus whispered sleepily,

"I can hear your heart beating."

"Is it pretty?"

"Mmhmm."

"You like it?"

"Mmhmm."

"Then I like it too."

He felt Remus smile against him and cuddle his face into him, tickling him but warming him more than anything else. His free arm pulled the tie from his hair and maneuvered it back down his wrist with a soft snapping sound. He rested his lips and nose against Remus's head, intaking the intoxicating forest-esque yet homey fragrance of his beloved werewolf. His eyes traveled down the smooth dip of Remus's nose, down the intrusion of his reddened lips, down his chin and past the wonderfully displayed shadows and muscles of his artistic neck to his collarbone. It caved into his skin deeply, rising and falling in time with his chest-plates by the majestic rhythm of his sleeping breath. It led into one of the muscles' lines on his neck, creating terrific shadows with every slight movement or unconscious swallow. Sirius he had read more or had been better educated that he was; that way he may know the words to describe how he felt about Remus, how he felt when Remus was near and exactly what kind of mystic beauty Remus possessed. He reluctantly closed his gunmetal eyes, seeing only before him fantasies of Remus that would last him the entire night.


End file.
